[personal profile] omfgstfu
The depression is pretty bad.

I posted an invite to do a thing - free tickets, easy to get to, short notice. No-one replied, not even to say 'I can't', 'wrong time for me' or 'I hate doing that, but you have fun'.

I stayed up all night, I do anyway some nights, but this night felt a bit like waiting for some kind of reply.
In the end, I collapsed just when it was time to go to the venue. I slept for about four or five hours. If I'd fallen asleep - if I had gone to bed during the night, or even as soon as it was morning - I could have maybe been awake for going to see the thing.
But I did not want to go alone.

So I stayed home and watched downloaded movies and television and played plants versus zombies and angry birds and high times and gemcraft -- all small in-browser 'casual games'.
And fell asleep when it was time to go out and slept through when it would have been.

And now I am hungry and it's four in the morning and I have been out to the shop - so glad I live near shops that are open until after midnight - and I have eaten biscuits. I meant to make food. I bought things to make food *with*.

Possibly I should look at how I feel: I feel lonely.



November 2011

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